A PIECE OF MY MIND

Here you will find this month's newsletter.
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We go on autopilot several times during the day and that is completely normal. Your brain always saves energy for future needs, and does so by automating and simplifying most of what you do. This is called your default mode network (DMN) or autopilot. Your autopilot is very good to have, so you don’t have to think about everything. Imagine if every time you brushed your teeth you would have to think about how you held the toothbrush. Or which leg should go first in each trouser leg. Or how to turn on the coffee maker. Or how to open the front door. Your subconscious mind allows you to do lots of things on autopilot, otherwise you would have zero energy left in your brain.
 
The problem is not that we automate, but when we go on autopilot most of the time. That's when we are not present, we can’t make conscious choices and we get stuck in a route or certain reactions. As you become more self-aware, you can start noticing when you are on autopilot and when you need to get back to the present.
 
Signs of being on autopilot

  • You do what you are supposed to, but are not present in everyday life. You are not growing and your decisions are not well thought out.
  • You wake up in the morning and are overwhelmed, stressed and unprepared for the day.
  • You are always on your mobile phone. It’s the first thing you check in the morning, you scroll through social media and e-mail many times during the day and the mobile phone is the last thing you see before you fall asleep in the evening.
  • You dwell on the past. You often think about the mistakes you have made, what you regret and "what if…."
  • You have a hard time remembering simple things, because you are not present. Where did I put the keys? Did I close the door or not? What did she say?
  • You often think negatively about yourself in different situations, it happens automatically. You criticize yourself, belittle yourself and don’t think you can handle things. You rarely think of something positive about yourself, because the negative is automated.
  • You are not present in the room. You are there physically, but mentally you are somewhere else.

 

How can you get out of your autopilot?
  1. The first step is to realize when you are in autopilot.
  2. Be more present in what you do and around your choices.
  3. Connect with yourself by moving your body, meditation or breathing.
  4. Say STOP to yourself as soon as you notice that you are on autopilot, slow down for a minute and really think and feel, then choose a new route.
  5. Understand that you need to do this over and over again, every day, until you become so aware when you’re on autopilot that you can stop it before it happens.
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Now that Christmas is approaching, many people feel extra stressed. Christmas presents are to be bought, we want to finish our projects at work and we want to clean the house a little extra before the family reunion. But this stress doesn’t have to be negative. You need to dispel the myth that the most important thing is a calm nervous system.
 
A healthy nervous system isn’t always calm and relaxed. It’s flexible and adaptable. It can come back to a calm state after a stressful situation.
 
So when you stand up for yourself, or raise your hand to speak at a meeting, or rush to catch the train, your sympathetic nervous system is switched ON. The vagal brake (the vagus nerve) then helps you to return to the green zone again, after the choir or challenge is completed.
 
The problem is that if you frequently are in this stressful state, the nervous system keeps the stress responses activated. You’re switch ON gets stuck, the vagal brake that slows you down stops functioning in a good way and you lose the ability to feel safe, and to rest and repair. This can trigger anxiety, irritation, exhaustion, or the feeling of being speed.
 
Since you can’t be relaxed all the time, teaching your nervous system to build resilience and helping it to go back to the green zone after a stress response is the most important thing.
 
How do you do this?
Here are 3 examples of how you can do it:

  • One way is to consciously push yourself outside your comfort zone. Cold showers, like my trainer Wim Hof does. I highly recommend it.
  • Move/exercise every day.
  • Heartflow Breathing.
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The best way to predict your future, is to create it
 
Visualizing your future – the day, a meeting, a situation, a year from now – is very efficient in creating your own future. Even Navy SEALs, the US Navy's toughest guys and one of the world's toughest elite troops, often brought in for impossibly difficult assignments, learn to visualize how they succeed in their challenges and the steps they take toward their goals.
 
Mentally rehearsing your future, rehearsing THE ACTION of what you want, is going to help you create your own future. Why is it so effective? Because the brain doesn’t know the difference between what you are imagining and what you are experiencing in the world.
 
The brain is a predictor. The brain gets information from the senses and through sensations from the body. The brain doesn’t have access to the causes, only the effects. The brain has to guess about the causes, so it uses past experiences as a reference point. Then the brain reacts accordingly to these predictions. This is why we often are stuck in a route. Our brain predicts what is going to happen, and then uses the same reactions and coping mechanisms as in the past and therefore creating the same future over and over again.
 
If you instead teach your brain/body how you ACT to get the results, and how the future FEELS like, ahead of the actual event happening, you will create the power to move forward.
 
Here is where most of us twist things around. We wait for something outside of us to make us feel good on the inside. We say “when I’m in a relationship, I will be happy” or “when I get this job, I will feel good about myself” You can’t wait for a relationship to feel love, or a job to feel successful. When you start to feel love, abundance, wholeness, successful IN THE MOMENT, you cause an effect. When you visualize, you use your brain as a map of the future. You will become a creator of your world, your future.
 
Every morning, VISUALIZE for 1 minute how you want to ACT during the day, or in life generally. See yourself doing the things that lead you to your goal or your future self. Then add FEELINGS. How does it feel to be that person, doing your thing? After the visualization, go to the mirror and “high-five” yourself for being the creator.
 

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In October, my book will be launched worldwide with a focus on the United States. It’s a great honor for me to in a small way help more people stand in their own POWER and create their own FREEDOM.
 
It warms my heart when I receive emails about how the Swedish version of the book has helped people to understand themselves better, to heal and find their own way in life. These emails make my day.
 
My next step will be to run Open Circle on Zoom and with the book as a platform. We work completely openly in the group with what we want to understand and change in our lives. Right now I am running Open Circle on VoiceHER as an experiment to see if it is possible to do transformations without meeting live and it is fantastic to see how we together can create energy and help each other. To run these circles, I need more people reading the book around the world. Do you want to help me?
 
The e-book has already been released and you can help me by leaving a short review that helps to make the book visible. 1-2 short sentences are enough.
 
On Amazon, you must first buy the book and also have shopped for $50 in the last year, in order to submit a review.
At Barnes & Noble and at Goodreads you can leave a review without buying the book, as long as you create an account.
 
Here's how to do it on Amazon:

  1. Buy the E-book. It costs about SEK 95.
  2. Write a short review in English, 1-2 sentences are enough.
    IMPORTANT! The printed book and the e-book are linked on 2 pages. Be sure to click on the e-book when you leave the review. If you leave the review on the printed book, it will not be accepted or displayed.
    You must also have bought for $ 50 in the past year.

 
Here's how to do it at Barnes & Noble:

  1. Create an account.
  2. Click on this link to go directly to my book.
  3. Scroll down to "Customer Reviews" and click on the link "Click here to be the first to review this product".
  4. Write a short review in English, 1-2 sentences are enough.

 
Here's how to do it on Goodreads:

  1. Create an account.
  2. Click on this link to go directly to my book.
  3. Scroll down a bit until you see a button that says "Write a review" and you also see 5 gray stars.
  4. Choose as many stars as you think the book is worth + don't forget to also write a short review in English, 1-2 sentences are enough.
     

Your review is very important because it makes the book more visible and can help more people.
 
Help me with my mission:
"I want you to stand in your power, with your heart open.
From this place, you can lead yourself and the world to freedom."
 

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Since 2009, children and young people's participation in Swedish sports clubs has steadily declined. This applies to all age groups and genders. The Swedish Crown Princess' organization Generation Pep conducted a survey which shows that only two out of ten children between the ages of 4-17 reached the recommended amount of physical activity in 2020 and only one in ten children live a healthy life, including both diet and exercise.
 
Many people highlight kids' screen time and socio-economic factors as major reasons why young people don’t exercise properly. But just like when I work with a client's problem, it's rarely one reason that creates the problem. Simply replacing screen time with exercise won’t work unless there is an attractive alternative. If exercise isn’t fun or creates a community feeling, kids will not exercise.
 
We adults are finally beginning to realize that the sport movement needs to change. Children and young people need to have fun when they exercise and not just think about games and results. We adults need to teach our children to "just" have fun, without any kind of benefit aspect around it.
 
Last week I worked with a client who was very focused on combining usefulness with fun. He didn’t see the value of just having fun, he always wanted the activity to be useful as well. And let me tell you - he is not alone in this. I asked him what he go out of having fun. He replied - joy. My next question then became: So you mean there is no usefulness in joy? His answer was: when you say it like that, I notice how wrong it sounds.
 
There is definitely a lot of benefits with having fun. Having fun brings joy. And joy is beneficial, because it makes you a happier, more harmonious and balanced person. You spread that joy to others. Life flows easier.
 
It’s the same with children and sports. Exercise based on joy and doing it just for fun, create a lot of positive effects. Sport is good at taking care of those who want something, but it’s often at the expense of those who don’t have the driving force to compete.
 
What do children and young people want their sport to look like?
According to the Swedish magazine Aftonbladet, a recent study from last year shows that young people between the ages of 15 and 24 want to be able to influence what times, in what way and how often they train. Something that often doesn’t work with the club's specific schedules and requirements for attendance. Another survey shows that a third are completely uninterested in competing. Another study (as yet unpublished) confirms that young people increasingly don’t think competition is important. All this indicates that today’s sport is constructed in the wrong way.
 
I think it sounds like our children are very wise and can teach us adults something about doing things just because it is fun and joyful. Young people want to exercise and experience community in the training group, but not all the demands. It simply becomes too serious. Just playing disappears and with it the joy.
 
How about YOU?
Can you do things just for the fun of it, or does it need to have a useful aspect? For example, when you exercise, do you choose something that you really like, or do you choose an activity because it’s effective and with a high benefit factor?
 
What would happen if you chose pure joy on a regular basis?

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