A piece of my mind.

Here you will find this month's newsletter.
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You didn’t lose your motivation, you lost sight of what you’re fighting for. There is a lack of momentum towards things that matters to you.
We all have a fire inside us that wants to create something. When we are busy focusing on everybody else, trying to be “normal”, or if we are in a reactive mode, just responding to all demands around us, we lose focus. When we lose focus on the important things, we lose momentum. When we lose momentum our motivation dies.
The solution is to set ONE goal, decide on ONE action that is really important to you, that you will do every day. When you focus on doing this thing every day, you start to create momentum.
If you don’t plan, you will just react on everything that is happening during the day. Instead reconnect with what you are fighting for, what matters to you, and make a plan. Focus on ONE thing that you can do on a regular basis, and I promise you that you will find your motivation when you start to move.
If you don’t plan, you will leave it to chance. Along the way you will lose your focus, and your momentum.

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Last month I have been gorging in Formula 1. Who could have thought that? I'm am hooked on the documentary series Formula 1 - Drive to Survive, on Netflix. For me, it is an exciting journey into the human psyche under extreme pressure.
What made me reflect a bit extra was the paradox found in a racing stable. The drivers compete not only against drivers in other stables, but also against a driver in their own stable. How to prioritize? Teamwork or winning yourself? This was something racing driver Valtteri Bottas had to wrestle with on several occasions, as he shared racing stables with multiple world champion Lewis Hamilton. Bottas had a huge drive to win, at the same time he had to think about the team, which meant that he sometimes had to take a step back for Hamilton. During the 2018 Russian GP, ​​he received instructions from his stable Mercedes to give his first place to teammate Hamilton, this to give Hamilton points advantage in his championship battle with Sebastian Vettel who competed for the Ferrari stable.
Mercedes prioritized the team and winning over Ferrari. They had a better chance of doing this if Hamilton won, and therefore Bottas had to slow down during the race and "drop" his first place. Bottas conformed with the decision, but it took time for him to accept the priority.
How should Mercedes have acted? Prioritizing the team and to win over Ferrari, or let the best man win? This is one of life's great paradoxes and there is no right or wrong answer here.
A few weeks ago, one of my clients encountered the same paradox. She had a problem with a colleague, and there was no easy way to resolve the conflict. The best solution for my client would probably have been for the colleague to quit and there was probably reason for that, but the colleague was very good at bringing in the money to the company, which meant that everyone had a job to go to.
I explained the dilemma that her boss was facing. Should he put my client's individual needs first and perhaps fire the colleague. Or should he put the company first and let the colleague stay because the revenue was needed?
It can be extremely difficult to be a leader, a parent, or the one who should take responsibility. You may need to make uncomfortable decisions and face the dilemma of choosing between the individual or the group.
I recommend you watch Simon Sinek's 2-minute video where he brilliantly reflects on the paradox of being human.

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In the life of golfer Tiger Woods, it was the development of the machine Tiger that came first. Tiger himself tells how his father psyched him to make him mentally stronger and to be able to ignore disturbing circumstances and negativity when he would compete.

The training to turn Tiger into a machine made him the world's best golfer of all time. The price tag has not been as fun. Injuries, drugs, scandals… A machine without the ability to make close human connections or having fun.

The most important lesson here is that it is not only important to be mentally strong, you also need to be emotionally stable, you need connection and you need to have fun. Old, stored, unprocessed emotions can explode later in life and that is when many do stupid and irrational things. After the father's tough upbringing, there was probably both anger and a feeling of not being good enough, in Tiger.

Tiger had an enormously high physical pain threshold, he could push himself as far as he wanted and he even won the US Open with a broken leg. But how did he deal with the emotional pain he seemed to be carrying? Hard military training, drugs, women…

It is only after rehabilitation that the development of the human Tiger has been allowed to take place. A development that should naturally take place at a young age and with parents and other authorities as good examples.

Tiger Woods said: The machine got me here. Now I have to develop into something else.

11 years later, in 2019, Tiger made a comeback as a golfer and won the US Open. But the biggest comeback is the one he has made into a functioning adult.

Watch the interesting documentary TIGER on HBO.

It is so incredibly inspiring how many people discussing the book Mind Hacking for Rebels with friends and family at the breakfast table, at their womens' meetings, during their walks or in their local book clubs.

To meet my readers and help them even more to stand in their own POWER and find their FREEDOM, I now offer digital book events. Why not doing a digital book event with me and your friends, colleagues, family, book lovers…

Change ONE thing that would influence your life the most!

I have received lots of emails about what you want to change, but not so many who have shown with a picture what action they have actually taken. Helena Ask moved in full speed and decided to take a cold shower every morning. For 2 months she has struggled and the result is more energy and pride that she accomplishes it. Good work! CONGRATULATIONS on a free session.

Just do it!

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30 years ago I started working with TV production because I loved the creativity that existed in the TV-world at the time. When I quit, it was because much of the creativity and joy had been replaced by streamlined efficiency and mass production. There was generally more and more focus on profit, lower costs and more efficiency. I really got caught in that trap and I became very good at streamlining and maximizing profits. Squeezing in more in less time became a sport.

As with everything, there has been an upside and a backside with this. My efficiency has helped me to do a lot. But there are also disadvantages, sometimes I have prioritized efficiency too much, which has resulted in less joy, desire and creativity. One example is books. I've been listening to audiobooks a lot lately. It's effective. I can walk, transport myself from A to B and listen to a book at the same time. But I also notice that I don't experience books in the same way as before. It's not as relaxing or fun. The book has become more like a distraction, to pass time or to forget the bad weather during a walk. Or it gives me a sense of efficiency, I am doing good because I have time for two things at the same time, for example both walking and learn. It has become a wrong intention. Therefore, I now try to be less efficient in life. It's crazy hard because I'm the type who when I go out, run some errands at the same time. Or when I watch a movie, I like to answer some emails. Or stack my meetings one after the other, to be able to do more of them.

When you prioritize efficiency too much, there are some pitfalls you need to watch out for:

  1. When you squeeze in more, you end up with less energy to do what's fun.
  2. Efficiency splits your focus. When you have a lot of different things to do, your focus runs wild and in the end there is a risk that you get very little done or that what you do is not so well done.
  3. Efficiency can be a killer of motivation and creativity. Let me give you an example. Maria came to me because she wanted to prioritize herself more, which meant, among other things, starting to exercise. Maria said that she had started strength training, but didn't find the motivation to go to the gym twice a week. After a while, we came to the conclusion that she loved to dance.

        - So why do not you dance as a form of exercise, I asked?
       - The dance studio is too far away and the dance classes I want to attend are only in the evenings. The gym is much better,       
          because I can go there at any time and it is close to work. And if I hurry, I can squeeze in my training at lunch, Maria said.

Maria had chosen the gym because it was more efficient and comfortable, not because she liked it. A few weeks later, the motivation was gone. We cannot choose efficiency over desire and joy for any length of time or in all areas.

My question to you is: Do you have any areas where you prioritize efficiency over desire and joy? Can you start prioritizing desire and joy in some areas?

Exciting reading about what scouts think will trend the most in 2021 within health and fitness. My favorite Wim Hof and his breathing techniques are number 1 on the list. Short workouts, steady-state, workcation and "nolo" are the new things.

A wonderful video about a unique village in Kenya, with only women. Unity Village was created as a place for women to live safe and independent lives where they can teach their children and the surrounding villages that women deserve to be treated with respect and equity. If you want to support them you can do it here.

Support someone close to you this month!

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There is a say “If you can't solve a problem, it's because you're playing by the rules”. Often you play by old rules and strategies that you installed when you were a young kid. Rules and strategies that protected you from getting yelled at, dismissed or hurt. But these rules are not serving you today. Often, they hold you back.
So, problems are often not problems. They are subconscious patterns that need to be adjusted. Why don’t you break the rules this year? Because if your old programming is the source of your problems, it is within your power to change it. This is taking responsibility for yourself and your own life.

What is ONE pattern you can choose to change during 2021? What is ONE thing you can take responsibility for, that would change a lot in your life? Just ONE thing!
When you have done it, not just decided what you will change, but also put it into action, I would love to hear from you. I will choose one winner, and give away one session for free (value 2.500 SEK). E-mail me the story with a picture and I will choose the winner on March 1, 2021.

Yes, you can actually become addicted to it. Here are some tips to help you create more relaxation.

This simple breathing technique is my favorite when I am stressed or need to make important decisions.

✔️ Up to 4 years old children operate on a genius level.
✔️ When we are 20, most of us only operate on 10% of that genius or brilliance level.
✔️ Late 20, early 30, most of us only operate on 2% of that brilliance level.

Where did it go? Here you have a 3,5-minute brilliant speech by Simon Baley about brilliance and the importance as an adult to know the way, go the way, and show the way to the children.

Create a brilliant 2021! 

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